Tom is a highly skilled professional at causing chaos and destruction in the office. His unique blend of procrastination and microwaved lunches is a wonder to behold.
Meetings: 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM, with breaks for existential dread and existential crisis.
Reports due: None, but feel free to submit a blank document with only your feelings about the meaning of life.
Project deadline: Someday, maybe. Possibly.
Annual Performance ReviewTom has a pet rock named Steve. Steve is sentient, or at least as sentient as a rock can be. Steve is also secretly controlling Tom's decisions and actions.