Employee Benefits
Welcome to the most amazing benefits package in all the land! We offer:
- Health Insurance - Because you'll probably need it after our CEO decides to "reorganize" the company for the third time this year.
- 401(k) Plan - Invest in our exclusive in-house Ponzi scheme... er, we mean, a diversified portfolio.
- Stock Options - Because who needs actual control over their own destiny, anyway?
And don't even get us started on our Mental Health Support - because trust us, you'll need it.
Don't forget to check your email for the latest Benefits FAQ for more information!