The Energy Drain Bureau: Because We Clearly Can't Have Nice Things

Welcome to the Energy Drain Bureau, where we take pride in our mediocrity. Our team of experts in the field of "Not Trying Very Hard" has worked tirelessly to ensure that your life remains as dull and uninspired as possible.

We've analyzed our competitors, and let's be real, they're all just as bad as we are. But hey, at least we're consistent. Our research has proven that the only way to achieve true mediocrity is to never innovate, never take risks, and never, ever, try too hard.

Our team's expertise includes:

• Procrastination: We can put off anything until tomorrow, guaranteed.
• Cynicism: We can find a reason to complain about anything, even sunshine.
• Complacency: We've mastered the art of doing the bare minimum, with style.

We're not just a government agency; we're a lifestyle. Join us in our mission to achieve a life of unfulfilled potential and unmet expectations.

See Our Subsidiaries | Why We Can't Have Better Things Because We Are Bad At It