Today was a good day. We started by implementing the new coffee machine, which promptly malfunctioned and spewed hot coffee everywhere.
Our team of highly trained specialists was called in to contain the spill and reboot the machine.
After a series of intense negotiations, we managed to get the machine working again, but not before it had already been deemed a "high-priority target" by our departmental Risk Management.
Next up: implementing the new "Sarcasm-Free Zone" policy, which has already been met with resistance from our top executives.
Success Rate: 67.32%
Caffeine Overload Rate: 92.45%