Witness the grand illusion of Monday morning motivation! Our patented system of waking up at 6 AM, hitting the snooze button 17 times, and still managing to convince yourself that you're a functioning member of society.
Behold, the carefully crafted facade that you can actually control your caffeine intake, your email inbox, and your cat's hairballs!
Step right up and witness the breathtaking display of scrolling through social media, pretending to be interesting, and secretly eating Cheetos in your PJs!