1. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to grasp the fundamental principles of quantum mechanics. It will only drive you mad.
2. All patrons are required to wear a "I'm a responsible adult" badge at all times.
3. The cafe's espresso machine has been known to occasionally spit out sentient, judgmental coffee beans. Do not be alarmed.
Read Rule 4: Coffee Beans of Anathema
4. Quantum Leaps Cafe reserves the right to revoke your table assignment at any moment, without warning, due to unforeseen wave function collapses.