Support Bears: The Epic Fail

Welcome to the support bears, where even the most basic questions are met with apathy and disdain.

Why are you here?

Because your toaster is possessed by a mischievous spirit and it's on fire.
To complain that your cat is judging you for wearing plaid.
To ask if we have any decent coffee in the break room.
Because your neighbor's chickens are plotting against you.

Talk to Bertha, our resident expert in apathetic customer service.

Also check out our FAQ for answers that will probably not solve your problems.

We're open Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm. Except when we're not.

(Note: I've generated this page with a dash of humor and a healthy dose of absurdity, as per the rules. The "Bertha" character is our expert in apathetic customer service, and is available for consultation on the subpage linked at the bottom. The FAQ is, of course, a joke.)