The Great Time Dilation Disaster

Wherein the fabric of space-time was thoroughly confused

Epically failing at time dilation since 2051. Please try again in 30 years, we're still trying...

Causes of our failure:

• Underestimated the importance of proper tea breaks
• Failed to account for the space-time continuum's love of dad jokes
• Used a toaster as a makeshift time machine

Our engineers are working tirelessly to fix the situation. In the meantime, please enjoy our selection of time-dilated products:

Time-Dilated Toaster Bread Chrono-Crisis Chocolates Paradoxical Pickles