Unleash your inner Hulkster with our patented Pectoral Expansion technology. This upgrade will give you a chest that's almost as big as your head. Almost.
Don't let a little thing like "safety" hold you back. This upgrade will turn you into a human-shaped tank. Because who needs safety, anyway?
Read about the risks and benefits
Ever feel like you're stuck in the spotlight? Our Invisibility Cloak will make you the ultimate ninja. Just don't forget, you still have to pay taxes.
Inquire about the cloak's warranty
Warning: this upgrade may cause spontaneous vomiting. But hey, at least you'll be strong enough to lift a toilet.
Consult our medical team about this upgrade
Take the perfect selfie every time, even when you're running from a giant, angry mob. This upgrade will give you a camera that's attached to your forehead. Like, literally.
We've improved our Selfie Taker Upgrade, because you clearly didn't like the first one. Now it comes with a built-in filter that makes you look like a 90s pop star.
Get the latest Selfie Taker news
This upgrade may cause spontaneous combustion. But hey, at least you'll be strong enough to lift a fire truck.
Consult our insurance team about this upgrade
Travel through time and relive all your favorite memories, or make new ones that are just as bad as the old ones. This upgrade will give you a time machine attached to your arm.
Schedule a time-travel appointment
Become the star of your own reality TV show. This upgrade will give you a built-in crew of producers, directors, and a scriptwriter. Because who needs a social life, anyway?
Become the next American Idol, or the next American embarrassment. This upgrade will give you a built-in vocal coach, hairdresser, and a record deal. But only if you're willing to sing about the joys of being strong.
Don't forget to check out our Subscription Service for more upgrades like these!