Top 5 Things That Probably Happened This Week
- Someone, somewhere, probably wore a pair of pants.
- A cat got its hair caught in a blender.
- The number of people who actually read this list is suspiciously low.
- A toaster was used to burn a piece of toast.
- The number of people who actually understand the value of statistics is dwindling.
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Most Likely To Be True
- 42% of people who visit this site are actually robots.
- 73.4% of those robots are secretly running for world domination.
- 9/10 people can't tell the difference between this and a real news site.
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