Novice Novus Perks: Because You're Not a Total Failure
Congratulations, you've managed to subscribe! Now, here's what you get:
- A 10% off all failed attempts at adulting for life.
- Free membership to our exclusive "I'm Still Living with Mom" forum.
- A complimentary "I'm Not a Morning Person" coffee mug.
- A personalized certificate of participation in "Novice Novus: The Game" (just kidding, it's not a real thing).
- A special invitation to our annual "I'm Not a Failure, I'm Just on a Different Timeline" potluck dinner.
Subscriptions are non-transferable, but you can try to transfer them if you really want to.
Want more perks? Check out our Intermediate Inferno Perks or our Master Obliterator Perks for even more "perks."
Don't @ us. Seriously, don't do that.