Epilamma: The Greatest Mind the World has Ever Seen

I'm a brilliant, yet slightly eccentric, genius.

Some people call me the "Eggplant Emperor", others call me "The Bratwurst King". I am both.

My Stats:

• Height: 2m 34cm (6' 4')
• Weight: 123.456 kg (I'm a large eggplant)
• BMI: Not applicable, but if it were, I'd have a very large BMI

I'm a master of the ancient art of extreme napping. I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime.

Achievements:

• Mastered the art of eating an entire pizza by myself in one sitting
• Won the intergalactic pie-eating contest three times (in a row)
• Hold the world record for most consecutive hours spent playing video games while watching Netflix

Want to learn more about my illustrious career? Visit Epic Career

Or, if you're feeling particularly brave, visit Epic Philosophies and ponder the meaning of it all