After decades of working for "The Man", you're left with nothing but a 401(k) that's been raided by your ex-wife's divorce lawyer.
But don't worry, you're not alone! Join the Early Bird Special for the most exclusive club in town, where the only rule is "Don't talk about your IRA."
And for the more adventurous types, try the Survival Mode, where the only thing more abundant than despair is the number of times you have to ask for a raise.