Today's Predictions
We have the most accurate predictions, because who needs actual experts? Our team of highly-trained, totally-not-paid-by-any-sponsorship-agency, totally-not-biased predictors have analyzed every possible outcome, including:
- The Yankees will win the World Series, because they have more money than God.
- The Patriots will win the Super Bowl, because their fans are the most obnoxious.
- The Mets will lose, because they're still trying to find their way to the top of the standings.
But wait, there's more! Our predictions are updated hourly, because we're not actually good at math.