Warning: the following hazards are not to be taken lightly.
RISK LEVEL: HIGH
Caused by: excessive use of strong emotions, poorly maintained sense of humor, or prolonged exposure to existential dread.
Symptoms: sudden and unexplained inflammation of the ego, followed by incineration of all surrounding objects.
Remedy: immediate cessation of all strenuous activity, followed by a 30-minute session of spontaneous human combustion treatment and emotional whitening salve.
RISK LEVEL: MEDIUM
Caused by: overzealous use of laundry detergent, inadequate washing machine maintenance, or unorthodox sock-pairing strategies.
Symptoms: sudden and inexplicable disappearance of socks, followed by frantic searching and crippling anxiety.
Remedy: Sock Whispering Techniques, Sock-Sock Union Protocol, or a good ol' Sock Replacement Registry.
Stay safe, out there!