The Cheese Wheel Manifesto
In a world where the forces of blandness and conformity sought to suppress our individuality and creativity, we, the Cheese Wheel, rose up against the oppressive powers of the dairy aisle.
Our demands:
- A return to the glory days of chunky, pungent cheeses, free from the tyranny of 'natural' flavors!
- An end to the scourge of low-fat, sugar-free, and gluten-free cheeses, which have brought our kind to its knees!
- A guarantee of at least 20% of the daily recommended intake of cheese per serving of crackers, or we will rise!
We will not be silenced, we will not be tamed. Our gouda will be heard!