The Weekend Whiner's Guide to Doing Absolutely Nothing

Technique 3: The Art of Mastering the Couch

Step 1: Find your preferred couch, preferably one that's been recently reupholstered with an extra layer of comfort.

Step 2: Position yourself in the most ergonomic position, taking into account the optimal angle of the sunbeam streaming through the window.

Step 3: Engage your mind in the most stimulating activity: staring at the wall.

Bonus Tip: Develop a keen sense of smell, allowing you to detect even the slightest hint of pizza from the kitchen.

Proceed to Technique 4: The Ancient Art of Binge-Watching

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Technique 5: The Extreme Sport of Extreme Ironing