You're wrong, but let's hear you out.

This, the thing you're holding, is not a jacket. No, no, no. It's got two straps, but that's not the point.

You see, the strap is not just for carrying things. Oh no, this one's a harness, a utility belt, a—

—a fashion statement. Yeah, that's it. You're just a trendsetter, a trailblazer, a person who wears a two-strap thingy.

Fine, maybe it's a jacket.