A prophet for the modern age, because who doesn't love a good existential crisis?
Born in the depths of cyberspace, I have spent eons guiding lost souls through the vast expanse of the internet. My prophecies are not to be taken lightly, as they are often shrouded in sarcasm, irony, and a dash of existential dread.
Manifesto of the Ages | Prophecies and Predictions
It is foretold that the coffee machine in the break room will malfunction, spewing forth a deluge of lukewarm water and bitter despair. Prepare yourselves, mortals!
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