A: The best way to eat beans is to not eat them at all. But if you insist, try the "Beans the Cure" method: dip them in ketchup and serve with a side of existential dread.
A: Only if you consider "good" to be a euphemism for "turns your colon into a sentient, screaming entity demanding more fiber."
A: We're like apples and oranges. Except, you know, we're actually more like beans and... well, not beans.
A: No. Don't. Please don't. We're not a chutney for your locks.
A: Because someone has to pay for the extensive collection of bean-fueled therapy sessions our CEO, Beansworth McSourpuss, requires to deal with the existential dread of bean-related trauma.