Monday Mandates: Bleak Hopes

Welcome to Monday Mandates, where our hopes are as bleak as the Monday morning sky. We're here to help you navigate the crushing despair that is your daily routine.

Q: What is the meaning of life, and why does it have to be so bleak?

A: It's a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, inside a dumpster fire of despair. But hey, at least you're not alone in your suffering.

Read on for the antidote

Q: How do I find the antidote to this existential dread?

A: Ah, you want to know the secret to escaping the void that is your existence? Well, it's simple: just pretend you're a hamster in a wheel, but instead of running, just stare blankly into space, questioning the meaninglessness of it all. Repeat this process for several decades until you're numb.

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