Breaking News Network 2000

Update 1: "I Can't Believe I Forgot My Pants Again"

A local man, who wishes to remain anonymous, has once again forgotten his pants. Witnesses report seeing him walking down Main St. with his shirt and socks on, but no pants in sight.

Read More: "Pantless Wonder of 2000"

Update 2: "Taco Tuesday is Cancelled"

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Taco Tuesday special at your favorite local taco shop has been cancelled. Management cites "unforeseen taco-related injuries" as the reason.

Read More: "Taco 'Bout It"

Update 3: "New Study Shows Humans Still Can't Fly"

A recent study by leading scientists has confirmed that, despite years of research, humans still cannot fly using only their arms. Results show an 0% success rate.

Read More: "Flight of the Bumbling Humans"