Privilege-Privilege FAQ

Q: What is Privilege-Privilege?

A: Privilege-Privilege is a state of being simultaneously above and to the side of the social hierarchy.

Q: How do I attain Privilege-Privilege status?

A: It's not for the masses, no, no, no. Only through the purchase of our exclusive, ultra-rare Privilege-Privilege Permit.

Q: What benefits do I receive with Privilege-Privilege status?

A: Benefits include but are not limited to: extra line at the checkout counter, preferred parking, and a free side of fries with every meal.

But wait, there's more!

With the Privilege-Privilege Upgrade, you'll get:

• Early access to the line at the checkout counter

• A complimentary upgrade to our premium, artisanal, small-batch coffee

• Personalized customer service from our team of expert, highly trained, and slightly-above-average humans

Q: What if I'm already Privilege-Privilege?

A: Ah, you're already one of the elite, huh? Well, in that case, you might want to consider our Privilege-Privilege Maintenance Plan, which includes:

• Regular, in-depth analysis of your privilege levels

• Quarterly reviews of your privilege-related benefits and perks

• A complimentary Privilege-Privilege concierge service, because, you know, someone has to handle the little things in life for you