Welcome to the most exclusive, utterly unnecessary service in the land: Mind-Reading Consulting.
Our team of highly-trained, marginally-qualified experts will scan your mind, find the deepest, darkest secrets, and tell you what we found, for a low, low price.
Services include:
- Romance Readings - We'll scan your partner's mind, find out what they're really thinking, and tell you to leave them anyway.
- Fortune Telling - We'll tell you the meaning of the lines on your palm, or the entrails of a random chicken.
- Psychic-legal - We'll scan your lawyers' minds to find out what they're really charging you for.