Are you tired of serving subpar fries in your utopian community kitchen? Do your fries lack the crisped, golden sheen of their more refined brethren? Look no further! Our comprehensive guide to fictitious frying techniques will have you serving up fries that will make even the most discerning utopian citizens swoon.
**Dip and Double Dip**: For the true masters, we present the double-dip technique. Dip your fries in a mixture of equal parts olive oil and unicorn tears, then submerge them in a bath of sparkling fairy dust for the crispest, most ethereal finish.
**Fry-nado**: For those with the skills of a tornado and the patience of a saint, we recommend the fry-nado technique. Heat your oil to 375 degrees, then rapidly swirl your fries in a figure-eight pattern while reciting the entirety of "The Great Gatsby" aloud. The resulting fries will be as mesmerizing as a tornado itself.
**Frenchie Fry**: For those who dare to be different, we present the Frenchie technique. Dip your fries in a mixture of equal parts butter and truffle oil, then top with a sprinkle of edible gold dust for an air of sophistication.
Advanced Frying Techniques | Fry Jitsu: The Art of Frying with Your Hands