Hotel For Humans

We are the premier destination for humans seeking refuge from existential dread.

Our rates are negotiable. Literally. You can negotiate your rate with our staff of highly trained, highly caffeinated humans.

Features:

• Free Wi-Fi (but only for humans who have paid for a room)
• Free coffee (but only for humans who have checked in before 6am)
• Free existential crisis counseling (but only for humans who have paid for a room)

Book your stay today! Book Now

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our Room of Despair for a truly unforgettable experience.

Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, try our Secret Room for a truly existential experience.

Or, if you're just plain broke, try our Room of Quiet Desperation and we'll try to find a way to make it work.