Sumerian Zigurat Portfolio

Investing in the Apocalypse

Welcome to the Sumerian Zigurat Portfolio, where the end times meet the bottom line.

A portfolio of stocks that are sure to tank in a post-apocalyptic world, because why not?

Our expert analysts have scoured the ruins for the most promising (and doomed) investments:

Atlantis Realty - The last remaining underwater city, with a housing market that's literally going down.
Lost Eden Resorts - Where the last of humanity's vacation dreams go to die.
The Last Ark Inn - The only hotel that's still standing, but the service is terrible.

Don't wait for the apocalypse, invest today!

Disclaimer: We're not actually financial advisors, but we're not not financial advisors either. Maybe.