Stocks of the Apocalypse: Where the Only Constant is Inflation

Get ready for the mother of all market crashes! Our stocks are guaranteed to tank, because, you know, the apocalypse.

Our Top Picks:

• Bunker Builder Inc. - The company that'll make you a profit while you're hiding from zombies.
• Raid Vested LLC - Invest in our top-rated raiding services, because nothing says 'smart investment' like raiding a neighbor's bunker for canned goods.
• Doomsday Survival Co. - We're not saying it's going to happen, but our survival kits are definitely worth the investment.

Disclaimer: Our stocks are NOT actually a good idea. Please don't invest in us. We're just trying to be funny.

Or, you know, just go buy some actual canned goods.