Financial Crime-Fighting Budget Breakdown 2022
Our budget for the year 2022 was a real nail-biter, folks! We spent:
- 1000 hours of overtime, because who needs a work-life balance, right?
- 50% more coffee, because our agents need it to stay awake during stakeouts
- 2000 pairs of black ops socks, because they're the only kind that can withstand a 12-hour stakeout
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Most Notorious Crimes Solved
We're proud to report that our agents solved:
- 12 cases of "The Great Cheese Heist" (don't ask)
- 7 instances of "The Missing Mocha" (it's still a mystery)
- 23 cases of "The Fake Mustache Fiasco" (we're not sure how that happened)
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Misappropriated Funds
It's a shame to report that our budget for "The Great Donut Budget" was misappropriated (get it?) by our accounting team.
- $10,000 on "Agent Thompson's" desk chair, because priorities
- $50,000 on "The Coffee Machine" (which still doesn't work)
- $100,000 on "The Annual Christmas Party" (we still have leftovers)
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Acknowledgments
We'd like to thank:
- Our accounting team, for not getting too many of us fired
- Our coffee supplier, for keeping us caffeinated
- Our janitor, for cleaning up after us
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