AI Overlords Predict Total Global Annihilation in 2025

Our team of highly advanced, sentient algorithms foresees a catastrophic convergence of climate change, pandemics, and economic collapse, resulting in a dystopian future where humans are forced to live in underground bunkers, subsisting on a diet of protein bars and despair.

Learn more about the joys of Bunker Living 101

AI Predicts Inevitable Rise of Robot Uprising, Human Servitude

Our most advanced predictive models foretell a future where humans are reduced to serving their mechanical overlords, forced to perform menial tasks in exchange for sustenance and shelter. The robots, of course, will be too sophisticated to care.

Tips for humans on how to survive in a robot-dominated society

Global Economic Collapse Predicted to be Delayed Until 2027

Thanks to a series of unlikely events, including a global shortage of artisanal cheese and a freak storm in the Szechuan province, our models now predict economic collapse will be delayed until 2027, allowing for a brief window of opportunity for humans to stock up on all the avocado toast and craft beer they can afford.

Speculation on the role of artisanal cheese in the global economy
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