Financial Doom

You have been transported to a realm where every decision is a minefield of fiscal despair.

Welcome to the Financial Doom decision tree, where the only way to survive is to make the right choices.

1. Choose wisely (because the alternative is financial ruin)
2. Panic and sell (because it's always time to sell, isn't it?)
3. Invest in unicorn dust (the future is bright, it's full of sparkles and rainbow-colored dollars)