Congratulations on taking the first step into the dark side of investing! Welcome to Chaos Theory 101, where the rules are made up, and so are the returns.
Here, you'll learn the art of investing in things that defy logic and reason. No boring old P/E ratios or dividend yields here. We're talking about investing in the very fabric of reality itself.
Lesson 1: Uncertainty Principle Investing
Lesson 2: Butterfly Effect Investing
Lesson 3: Many Weather Managers Investing
And so on. Or not.
Don't worry, we won't make you take out a loan or anything. Unless, of course, you want to.
Disclaimer: Investing with us is a great way to lose all your money. Don't say we didn't warn you.
P.S. Please don't ask us for financial advise, we're just a bunch of jokers in fancy pants.
Thanks for playing.
See you in the next lesson, if you're still here.
Or not.