It was a dark and stormy night in the city of Meowville. Mrs. Whiskerface, the esteemed feline socialite, had reported her can opener missing. The investigation was on.
Our team of highly trained feline detectives scoured the premises, interviewing suspects and gathering clues. But as we dug deeper, we discovered a web of deceit that threatened to upend the very fabric of our society.
It turned out that the culprit was none other than... (dramatic pause) ...the kitchen cat, Mr. Jenkins!
Mr. Jenkins, it seems, had been using the can opener to open not just cans, but also the occasional package of catnip. His motives were clear: to fuel his insatiable addiction.
But as we closed the case, we couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to the story. That there were still cans to be opened, and secrets to be uncovered.
The Can Opener Conspiracy Theory