Emergency Help Desk: Because Apparently You Need It

We're glad you asked! Or should we say, we're glad we got called?

Why is it so hard to get help in an emergency?

Well, let's be real. We're not exactly the most organized bunch. Maybe that's why you ended up here, lost in cyberspace.

Here are some possible reasons:

• You probably didn't read the manual.
• You probably didn't watch the tutorial.
• You probably didn't Google it.

Or maybe you just need to call us because you can't be bothered to do any of those things.

Emergency Services Menu

Choose from our menu of emergency services:

• What do I do now?
• Call the Cops
• Why are you not helping?
• What is the point of any of this?

Don't worry, help will arrive... eventually. Or maybe not. We're not really sure.