Fixers Union: Rules

We're Not Really a Union, But We'll Pretend

Article 1: The Fixers Code of Conduct

As a Fixer, you're expected to uphold the highest standards of mediocrity. This means:

• Arriving late, but making up an excuse that's almost believable;
• Stealing credit, but pretending it's a team effort;
• Leaving a trail of destruction, but calling it "methodology."

Article 2: The Fixer's Bill of Rights

• You have the right to complain loudly about how much you dislike your coworkers;
• You have the right to take extended coffee breaks, as long as you bring back the coffee;
• You have the right to call in sick, even if it's just because you're tired of the meeting.

Read Article 3: The Fixer's Bill of Responsibilities