Flossing Manifesto: A Declaration of Independence from the Tyranny of Boring Dental Hygiene

Article I: The Right to a Floss-Free Existence

1. Section 1: We, the undersigned, declare that flossing is a scourge upon our society.
2. Section 2: We, the undersigned, assert our right to a floss-free existence, free from the terrors of gumline trauma and the drudgery of dental appointments.

Article II: The Right to a Flossing-Free Lifestyle

• Section 3: We, the undersigned, demand the right to choose our own dental care products, free from the tyranny of fluoridated toothpaste and the whims of the ADA.
• Section 4: We, the undersigned, assert our right to ignore the dentist's orders, at least for another 6 months.

Subsection 2: The Flossing-Free Revolution: A Call to Arms

Subsection 3: The Flossing-Free Economy: A New Model for Prosperity