Black Bean Burger of Doom Recipes

Ingredients:

• 1 lb of blackened, despairing beef
• 1/4 cup of black bean paste, forged in the depths of the underworld
• 1/4 cup of shredded, charred lettuce, harvested from the ruins of a post-apocalyptic landscape
• 1/4 cup of diced, irradiated onions, grown in the toxic wasteland
• 1/4 cup of melted, lava-like cheese, harvested from the core of a volcano
• 1 tsp of 'Doom Sauce', a special ingredient rumored to be made from the essence of a thousand midnights

Instructions:

1. Preheat your grill of despair to 375 degrees Fahrenheit, or until the flames have consumed the last vestiges of your sanity.
2. Mix the black bean paste with the shredded lettuce and diced onions, creating a concoction that will make you question the very fabric of reality.
3. Pile the blackened beef patty onto the grill, and watch as it transforms into a charred, blackened, and irradiated mass.
4. Assemble the burger, adding the melted cheese, and a dollop of 'Doom Sauce'.
5. Take a bite, and let the flavors of despair consume you.

Side Effects:

• Mind-shattering terror
• Unrelenting despair
• Temporary loss of appetite
• Long-term psychological damage