Welcome, officers! Congratulations on being part of the most elite, most fantastic, most utterly bewildering military force in the galaxy.
As a Golden Army officer, you are trained in the art of doing the opposite of what the manuals say. You are masters of chaos, chaos, and more chaos!
Protocol 42: If a situation becomes too quiet, start a fight.
Protocol 11: Always, always, always bring a spare toaster.
Protocol 7: In the event of a zombie outbreak, do not, repeat, DO NOT, eat the brains.
Protocol 3: If a superior officer tells you to do something, do the opposite.