Welcome to the land of Absurd Predictions, where the future is as uncertain as the present, but with more cats.
Here's a rundown of our latest, completely-made-up predictions for the year 2023:
- By prophets of the Church of the Invisible Sock, it is foreseen that pineapple pizza will be the official state food of the world.
- According to the Oracle of the Golden Toaster, the average lifespan of a smartphone will be exactly 3.14 years, after which it will spontaneously combust in a blaze of glory.
- The Absurdbian Institute of Futurism has predicted that cats will be able to communicate through the art of interpretive dance, revolutionizing interspecies understanding.