Cookie Policy: Because We're Watching You

We're not just tracking your browsing history, we're also reading your emails, monitoring your social media, and analyzing your dreams.

By using this site, you're agreeing to our comprehensive surveillance policy. If you don't like it, you're free to leave and never come back.

We use cookies to:

• Track your every move, every click, and every scroll.
• Identify your favorite snacks, so we can serve them up in your dreams.
• Determine your most likely purchase decisions, so we can tailor our ads to your deepest desires.

We also use cookies for:

• Maintaining our database of your deepest, darkest secrets.
• Monitoring your online activities, including but not limited to:
• Reading your emails, even when you've deleted them (we're like, super-good at it).
• Monitoring your browsing history (we know you checked out that cat video, and that Reddit post, and that weird forum).

Want to see our Cookie List for the full scoop?

Or, if you're feeling extra paranoid, you can try our Cookie Opt-Out form (just kidding, it's just a dead link).