Section 1: The Fine Print
By signing below, you acknowledge that you are a consenting adult (18+), and that you have read and agree to the following:
I, the undersigned, hereby grant permission to the world's most esteemed and respected authority figures to do with me whatever they please. I understand that this may include, but is not limited to, forcing me to listen to an endless loop of elevator music while being held in a sensory deprivation tank. I acknowledge that I am willing to forgo all claims to personal freedom and autonomy in exchange for the privilege of using the "World's Okayest" font in my next social media post. I hereby release and discharge all claims to sanity and reason upon signing below.