Clarifications and Clarifications

Due to recent user complaints, we have established a comprehensive list of things we do not actually mean.

• When we say "optional", we actually mean "not required, but only because we're feeling generous today".
• We do not actually care about your feelings, but we will pretend to for the sake of our user base.
• "Free" means "we'll let you pay for it, but with a side of regret and disappointment."
• We will not actually be available to help you, but we'll send a automated response that sounds like we are.
• By "guarantee", we mean "we'll try, but no promises, because, let's be real, we're just not that good."

Subpages:

• Subpage 1: When we say "fine, print it out, we mean "just make sure to use Comic Sans"
• Subpage 2: In which we explain the actual meaning of "fine print"

Disclaimer: The following subpages are completely unimportant, but we've included them for your entertainment.