Confession of the Century

As a citizen of Neo-Brutalistan, I, [Name], hereby declare that I am 100% innocent of all charges.

Under penalty of perjury, I swear that:

1. My cat, Mr. Whiskers, is not plotting against me.
2. I did not eat the last slice of pizza from the break room fridge.
3. I have never, ever, ever used the phrase "I'm not a morning person" as a valid excuse.
4. I do not have a stash of stolen donuts hidden under my desk.

Signed and sealed on this, the most solemn of days:

Seal of Innocence

Also, if you're looking for more forms, try:

Affidavit of Ignorance for the less-informed among you.

Affidavit of Sincerity for those with a strong moral compass.