You're almost a member!

We just need you to sign in with a few pints of your finest blood. Don't worry, it's painless and totally worth it. We promise not to use it to make a decent glass of red wine.

Subscribe to our blood-sucking service!
Subscriptions Subscription Agreement Cancellation Policy Subscription Agreement

By signing in with blood, you agree to the following:

  1. You will provide us with a minimum of 2 liters of your finest Type O negative.
  2. You will attend our exclusive, invite-only parties and pretend to enjoy the music.
  3. You will wear our custom-made, neon-lit "I'm a blood-invested member" t-shirt to all events.
Read our Cancellation Policy
Cancellation Policy

We're sorry you want to cancel.

Don't be sad, we're not sad. We just know you were only here for the free blood.

To cancel, please follow these easy steps:

  1. Send us a strongly-worded letter, written in your best attempt at calligraphy, to our P.O. Box 1, Bloodville, USA.
  2. Wait patiently for 6-8 weeks, or until the postal service decides to deliver it, whichever comes first.
  3. Sign the attached contract, which we'll send to you via carrier pigeon, and mail it back to us with a smile.
Re-read our Subscription Agreement