Futile Resolutions - About Us

Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated individuals are_goals are dedicated to creating resolutions that are utterly useless.

We've been doing this for years, and we're still trying to figure out why.

Our mission is to provide you with resolutions that will make you laugh, cry, and scratch your head.

We've got prophets, philosophers, and experts on expert-level procrastination on our team.

Our team is like a box of assorted chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get.

We are proud to prophets that we are not.

Join us in our futile attempts at making a difference.

Our Team:

prophets of procrastination, expert-level napping, and making excuses for not doing anything.

Name	Job Title	Specialties
John	Futile Resolutionist	Expert-level procrastination, existential dread, and finding the perfect angle for a 3D puzzle.
Jane	Philosopher Queen	Philosophy, existentialism, and finding the perfect shade of grey.
Bob	Prophet of Procrastination