Futile Resolutions
Here are some
real
resolutions you'll never actually keep:
Quit sugar entirely (but let's be real, who are we kidding?)
Learn to play an instrument, but only for 5 minutes a day (and only on Tuesdays)
Never check your phone during meetings (HA! Like that's gonna happen)
Eat a healthy breakfast every morning, but only if it's not too much hassle
Finish all homework in one sitting (but only if it's not due until next week)
Never procrastinate (HA! Like that's gonna happen)
Always leave the house on time (but only if there's no Netflix to binge)