Toaster 9000: Because You Clearly Need 9000 Toaster Settings

Are you tired of prophets who just won't deliver? Do you yearn for the warmth and comfort of a perfectly toasted slice of bread? Look no further than the Toaster 9000, with its 9000 customizable settings and 9 out of 10 chance of not setting off your fire alarm!

Advanced Settings: For the Truly Perfectionistic Toaster 9000 Attachments: Because You Can Never Have Too Many

Side effects of using the Toaster 9000 may include, but are not limited to:

Excessive use of electricity
Uncontrollable toaster rage
Unexplained burns