Ugh, welcome to Earth's crumby public transit system. You've probably heard the stories, but let's just pretend we're going to get into it.
Subways: The Sardine-in-a-Cage Experience
Crammed into a sweaty metal box with a bunch of sweaty strangers, you wonder if this is some kind of intergalactic experiment gone wrongæk.
Catch the 6:45 to Nowheresville, and enjoy the 'chartInstance' of a scenic route that'll have you praying for a wormhole.
Don't forget to tip your driver, or you'll face the wrath of the Galactic Union of Transit Workers' Local 345.
Highways: Because Who Needs a Personal Spacecraft, Anyway?
ประก highway ประก is the perfect example of human ingenuity: a seemingly endless stretch of asphalt and despair.
Take a deep breath, put on your noise-cancelling headphones, and try not to think about the existential dread of being trapped in a metal box with a bunch of strangers, all while wondering if you'll ever reach your destination.
ประก Don't worry, it's not like you'll ever get lost or stuck in a never-ending loop of billboards and fast food joints.
Enjoy the thrill of possibly getting a ticket for going 5 over the limit on a road that's clearly designed for speed demons, not mere mortals.
And hey, if you're really lucky, you might even get a chance to see a UFO or two (or three, or four, or five...).
Catch the 6:45 to Nowheresville, and enjoy the 'istine' experience of highway travel!
Buses: Because Who Needs a Map? Airplanes: For When You Want to Feel Like a Sardine in a Cage, but in the Air