Geriatric Sports: The Geriatric Olympics
Welcome to the most geriatric sports tournament the world has ever seen! Where the only thing more impressive than the athletes' age is their... um, let's just say "finesse" in the geriatric arts.
The Geriatric Marathon: 100 meters of walking while clutching a walker
The Geriatric Triathlon: 100 meters of walking, 100 meters of crawling, and 100 meters of... well, just standing still
The Geriatric Gymnastics: Where the only thing that's 'sticking' is the athlete's walker to the ground
The Geriatric Sprints: 100 meters of running while clutching a cane, but don't worry, the finish line is close