Gloriantine Overlord's Decree

By the power vested in me, I, the Gloriantine Overlord, hereby proclaim:

That all Tuesdays shall be spent in feasting and merriment, lest anyone be cast into the depths of the Pit of Despair.
That all citizens shall don their finest attire on Thursdays, lest they be subject to the scorn of my imperial gaze.
That the consumption of an excessive amount of cheese shall be punishable by law, except on Fridays, when it is de facto encouraged.
That all forms of procrastination shall be tolerated and even encouraged, as long as they are done in the service of my imperial whims.

Thus saith the Gloriantine Overlord, Supreme Ruler of all that is Good and Just and Generally a Right Pain in the Butt.